


Making Amends

by enkelimagnus



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Mention of Raphael/Izzy, Mention of Simon/Maia, Set in Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 03:55:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14324019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enkelimagnus/pseuds/enkelimagnus
Summary: The first time Izzy and Meliorn talk about their relationship, after Valentine's death.





	Making Amends

It had been so long since she’d last been there, Izzy realized as she walked into the enchanted side of Central Park.

The portal to the seelie dimension was barely discernible for those who didn’t know it existed, and even those who knew could struggle to find it. She had stepped through it easily, and had felt the atmosphere change around her. 

The weather was different. It was night there too, though. The tent was still where she was used to seeing it, and the colorful fabrics bowing slightly in the wind hadn’t changed. She wondered if things had changed inside of it. 

The last time she’d been there was for information and sex, was to get into the Hotel Du Mort and get Simon back. At the time, Simon had been another pretty thing on her list of pretty things she would like to have around her. 

Everyday, she regretted how she had been back then. The yin fen had changed everything. It had only been a few months, yet she felt older, as if years had passed instead. Her mind had changed. Her body had changed to. The yin fen had taken a toll that she was only now recovering from. 

Simon was a dear friend now. He had helped her considerably, had opened the world of mundane support groups to her during her recovery, and she would forever be grateful for him and for that. 

He was happy, with Maia. It made sense. The two of them fit together so well. Simon was kind and sweet and honest, and Maia needed the kindness and care that came from the vampire. She’d befriended Maia as well. 

Her world was different, she was the Weapons Master. She had responsibilities, and she was also Alec’s second-in-command, and whenever he escaped to the other side of the world, on a date with Magnus, she was in charge. 

All things considered, Izzy was content. She was successful, she was recovering, she felt at ease in her job and in her life, she was happy for her friends, and for her siblings, but she was just a bit alone. 

She’d thought about him that evening as she was going over an unmarked box of weapons. They were all Downworlder weapons, or Circle member weapons, weapons of enemies slain in battle. After they had stopped collecting body parts as trophies, they’d kept weapons. 

She’d found a Seelie dagger, in the middle of them. She knew it was Seelie from the particular energy coming from it. Seelie magic felt different, she knew it from the times she’d spent in Meliorn’s tent. 

Meliorn. 

As she walked into his tent, months after the last time they’d spoken, she wondered how different he would be. She knew he had changed. She’d seen the scars on his face, she’d seen him fight in Seelie armor when they’d saved Max. 

She knew he was different. 

The carpets were still there, the low sofas as well. The place still smelled like seelie magic and cinnamon. She liked that smell. It reminded her of other times. She’d been foolish then, but everything had been simpler. She didn’t crave drugs. She was frivolous and young. 

“What are you doing here, Shadowhunter?” 

The voice startled her and she turned around. In the shadows was standing the man she’d come to see. He was in dark Seelie clothing, different from what he wore months ago. She’d missed him, she realized. Way more than she’d thought she did. 

Seeing him around everyone at the Institute, or seeing him during battle was different. This, just the two of them standing in his home, was more intimate. She’d missed that too. The intimacy that came with being here. 

“I came to see you,” She replied. 

He took a step forward. She realized then that he was armed. His spear was in his hand, and he was holding a knife behind his back. She didn’t need to see it to know it was there. It hurt a little, but she understood. 

As a show of good faith, she undid the thigh holster where she kept her seraph blade and stele, throwing them to the side. She then took off her bracelet and threw them with the rest. She was unarmed. Meliorn knew she was lethal in hand-to-hand but she hoped it showed that she wasn’t here to harm anyone. 

“My position as a Seelie Knight forbids me for sharing information with you. And you made clear our agreement was terminated.” 

“I know, all that. I’m not here for information,” Izzy spoke softly. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I came to see how you were doing.” 

Meliorn blinked at her, frowning. His hair was longer now, she realized when he tilted his head and the dark locks fell on his shoulders. It was longer and wavy, except for the side where the skin was showing. The side where the scar was had been shaved closely, and she could see the lightning-like ramifications of the old wound. 

“You never were very interested in that.” He pointed out and she sighed. 

“I’m… I went through a lot of changes lately.” She tried to explain. She didn’t know how much detail she should give. He probably didn’t want to hear about her life. 

“So I heard. You fell into yin fen, and brought Raphael Santiago down with you.” He pointed out. “I smelled your perfume on him the second I saw him.”

“Raphael and I… It’s complicated. I’m making amends to him. Or at least, I’m trying.” 

“So now you’re making amends to me.” Meliorn mused, walking towards her again, but keeping a certain distance. His eyes were sharp, but they were a bit wary. She hadn’t seen this look in his eyes before, at least not directed towards her. 

“I am,” Izzy muttered. 

There was a silence, a moment where she looked at Meliorn, and he looked back at her, both expecting something from the other, both wondering what the other’s next move would be. Izzy wanted to tell him she’d missed him terribly.

She had missed him terribly. Meliorn had always been different from her other lovers. She wondered if she would have stopped coming only for information hadn’t Maryse pushed her into pretending she was something she wasn’t. 

Meliorn eventually took a step forward, and another, walking towards her. He was still tense, still had his weapon in hand, but she didn’t mind, at least it was something. The man reached to cup her cheek, then let his hand slide into her hair. She savored for a second that touch against her scalp. She hadn’t been touched like that in a while. 

He licked his lips, and she wanted to kiss him, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from his mouth. She wanted to go back to being close to him, because she needed someone who cared for her. 

The seelie watched as the woman he’d shared a bed with often looked down. She had always been so beautiful, and she still was, but Meliorn still could see the newfound maturity in her. He understood, they’d both changed. Becoming a Knight had changed everything. 

He’d wanted to sneak into the Institute after she’d sent him that fire message. He’d wanted to sneak in, and go back to her, pull her close and make love to her again. He’d missed her and her smiles, and her smirks, and the mischief in her dark brown eyes when she was asking for something from him. 

There had always been things left unsaid between the two of them. She was a Shadowhunter, and he was a Seelie. He had as much angel blood she had, but he also had demon blood, and he knew she didn’t really always see him as an equal. 

At least, she hadn’t when they’d started seeing each other. She never stayed for long then, when she had what she wanted, she was gone in a heartbeat. With time, things had changed. She stayed longer, was reluctant to talk about what she needed to know. 

He’d felt the bitterness in her voice, the last time she’d slept with him, when she’d asked about Camille Belcourt and him. 

At the end, they’d been equals, they’d been content, and it had been good. Those last few times, and the way she laughed to his jokes and dirty comments, and the way she seemed relaxed around his home, those had been good things. 

“Many things happened. Your absence was noticed.” He didn’t want to show too much of the affection he still arbored for her, he didn’t want for her to know that he wanted her to come back to him. 

It was too early for it. He couldn’t allow himself affect. The Seelie Queen wouldn’t end his service as a Knight before long, if ever, he knew it. And Isabelle could be a weakness he didn’t want to reveal. He’d failed the Queen before, and she was cruel in her punishment. 

He remembered the pain, the seelie dagger digging into his skin, as the Queen watched, unmoved. He didn’t regret letting the two Shadowhunters into one of the realms, or even performing Seelie magic for them. Debts were to be repaid immediately. Meliorn had never liked being indebted to anyone. Especially not to Shadowhunters. 

It was her turn to reach up to touch his face, her fingers ghosting over the crescent-shaped scar around his eye. He flinched, and she moved her hand away. 

“This is my fault,” Isabelle whispered, still looking at the mark. 

“It is not. I knew my actions would have consequences.” He reassured, looking at her. There was something genuinely guilty in her eyes. He’d always loved her eyes. 

“If you hadn’t been my lover, Lydia wouldn’t have suspected you. You wouldn’t have had to repay us breaking you out.” 

“Would you rather we hadn’t known each other?” Meliorn asked, sharper, more inquisitive than his earlier soft tone. 

Isabelle swallowed. “I - The only thing I wish I had done differently was when I ended our… agreement. I wish I had stood up to my mother then, maybe I wouldn’t have searched for other ways to take the edge off, had I still been with you.” 

“You believe you wouldn’t have fallen into addiction…” Meliorn didn’t finish his sentence, but moved away, back, turning away from her for a second. He was no psychic, he had no way of knowing what would have happened, had Isabelle not ended their affiliation. However he knew that maybe Isabelle believed it, saw that day as a turning point. Who was he to go against it? 

“I don’t think we should talk about this.” Izzy muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. All of that was in the past, and she was trying so hard to move on from it. She didn’t want to talk about it, not with Meliorn, not when they felt like strangers, and yet not. 

She knew a part of him, and that part of him could very well be dead, just like he’d known a part of her, a part that could very well be dead. She didn’t know how to fix it. Fix this… tension between the two of them, fix everything and go back to being young. 

“Maybe another time.” 

“Will there be another time?” She asked, because she wanted to know, even if it was pushing too far with her question. She _needed_ to know. She needed to know because she missed him. So she said it. “I’d like for it to be, if you’ll allow me. I’ve missed you.” 

Meliorn turned back towards her, eyes a little wide, caught by surprise, and she smiled softly at him, tightening the cross of her arms on her chest to give herself some kind of reassurance. Maybe he was going to push her away, but she needed to know. 

“I’ll allow you.” He whispered, and it was just that, a whisper, with eyes wide still but something hopeful dancing in them. 

“May I kiss you?” She asked. 

She wanted to, and he wanted to, but she needed to ask first. She’d learned a few things recently. The thing about consent. About how kissing wasn’t as casual as she thought it was, it wasn’t something everyone did without thinking. 

And she owed him to Meliorn to ask. She didn’t want to be _that_ Shadowhunter. Not again, not anymore, she had to be better. She needed to learn. 

“You’ve never asked before.” Meliorn pointed out, raising a curious eyebrow. 

“Before, we both were spies using each other for information.. And then we were more. This time? I want for it to be just us. No ulterior motives. No spying.” 

“I never spied, I never lied.” The man hummed, watching her, but there was a light smile on the corner of his lips, a smirk Izzy knew. She felt her heart skip a beat when she saw that smirk. Maybe the teasing part of him wasn’t dead after all.

“I don’t want you to get hurt by the Queen again. I don’t know exactly what she did to you, but-” 

“Please,” he interrupted. “We do not talk about your predicament, and we do not talk about my punishment.”

Izzy paused. He was right. They’d talk about those hard things later. They’d… maybe confess the hardships when what was between them was more stable, more than this fleeting connection, and those more-tender looks. 

“You did not answer my question, Meliorn.” She whispered, for all answer. They both knew she’d agreed to not discussing painfuls events yet. 

Meliorn turned a bit more towards her, and soon he was back close to her. He didn’t move for a moment, just watching her. She didn’t bat an eyelash, waiting for him to make his choice. It was his choice. She didn’t want him to feel forced in any way. 

“Hmm, Isabelle…” Meliorn purred, and she smiled at him. The man she knew was back. “How could I say no, to such delectable lips?” He teased and she chuckled. 

“Some have before.” She had a small shrug, and smirked back at him, inching closer even. 

They breathed in each other’s breath for a second, eyes almost close, hesitating still, calculating maybe the risks and the implications of kissing the other now. A beat. Izzy closed her eyes when she felt Meliorn’s lips on his. 

It started slow, soft, barely there, a whisper of a kiss, and it would have been enough for her, and enough for him. But he wrapped an arm around her waist and pressed her closer and she kissed him deeper, and he kissed back. 

They didn’t rush. They took their times, one languid kiss at a time, embraced for what felt like the first time in forever. It had been so long, and Meliorn’s heart was beating a little too fast, when Izzy made that keening sound in the back of her throat. 

She still wore the same perfume, he could smell it now whenever he took a deep breath, whenever he pulled back for air, and before he sank into the kiss again. He would recognize it anywhere, any day. 

They both kept the kiss rather chaste, hands only reaching to pull each other closer, and not adventuring below the waist. It was a new beginning, and they wanted for things to be different. 

Izzy was diving in for another kiss, now sharing a grin with him, when something rang. Her phone, in the back pocket of her jeans, was ringing to the tone she used for Alec. She leaned back, sighing. She wanted more than she could get today. 

“It’s Alec.” She whispered and Meliorn just nodded. 

“Go, Isabelle. You know the way back here, if you ever wish to continue this.” Meliorn cupped her cheek and pressed a last kiss to her lips. The phone was still ringing. 

She thanked him, said her goodbyes, and gathered the weapons she’d discarded earlier. It was probably work. Something about the weird demons that had been going around lately. With the current unrest, she wondered where she would be able to come back to him. 

Meliorn watched Isabelle walk out of his home and sighed. The scar ached a little. It always did. Reminding him of what he had to do, and what he shouldn't be doing. A shiver ran down his spine. Maybe this was too risky. 

Would he risk his life for Isabelle, like he’d done for her brother and her friend? Or would he choose the safe road, ban her from his home, and choose some heartache over a new punishment from the Queen?


End file.
